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New Year’s Greetings

In which Violet Greer talks to animals.

2013 was a big year here in Crystal Haven. Clyde’s book, Pall in the Family, hit the shelves and our tourism numbers went through the roof! We are so pleased that people want to spend time with us in our little town. And although I don’t like to be the kind of person who says, “I told you so,” I knew that Clyde’s story would draw new visitors. Who doesn’t like a story of secrets, murder, mayhem, and dogs?

Some of my clients were kind enough to share their holiday spirit. You might remember these two from the Webkinz affair. I still haven’t quite cracked that case…

And here is Astrid, wishing everyone a Happy New Year! She’s thrown the party of the year and must have gotten some help with those hats…

Stay tuned in the new year for more pet stories, and some follow-up with old friends.

Thanks to Barb and Melissa for sharing their pictures! ~de

Hectic Holiday

In which Violet Greer talks to animals.

As I’m sure you are aware, the holidays can be brutal. Everyone running around trying to get ready for their winter holiday of choice. It can be exhausting. My fingers are cramping up from all the knitting I’ve been doing. Then there’s the baking and decorating and wrapping.

I was called to see Tanner this week because he seemed “withdrawn” according to his family. You may remember Tanner from this post and this one. He lives with two small children which doesn’t always translate to the type of relaxing life he desires. It seems he has taken over the kid chair and won’t give it up. His owner called in a panic because she brought the chair home from the store and was planning to hide it before the kids came home from school. Tanner wouldn’t budge.

“I love this chair! It’s perfect for me,” Tanner said.

“Um, Tanner?” I said.

“I was starting to feel really neglected, but this just proves I am still top dog around here.”

“Tanner?”

“Before those kids came along I got all the best stuff. But this chair is the best present ever!”

“Don’t you think it’s a little small for you?”

“Small? No.”

“But you can’t stretch out. You have to curl up in a ball.”

“Yeah, that’s the way I like to relax.”

“What about your nice big bed, over there?” I pointed into the other room.

“Yeah, the girls can have that one. This one is right where the action is!”

The owner began casting desperate glances in my direction and tapping her watch.

“The kids will be home soon, Tanner.”

“I know! Wait until they see this!”

I decided to accept defeat. I told the owner to buy  something else for the kids and let Tanner keep the bed.

Thanks to Kris and Tom for the picture ~ de

Canine Conundrum Part 3

In which Violet Greer talks to animals.

This is Ollie. He has lawyered up. That’s Jasper whispering in his ear telling him not to talk.

“I have no comment,” Ollie said.

“Stop harassing my client!” Jasper said.

I explained that no one was in trouble and I just wanted to talk to them about what they may have seen.

“That’s an old trick, lady.” Jasper said. “I’ve seen it a hundred times before. First they say they just want to talk and the next thing you know, you’re in the dog house – literally.”

“Yeah, yeah. Remember that time we dug up the garden, Jasper? That did not go well…”

“Shut it, Ollie! She can hear you and you aren’t supposed to say anything.”

I’m pretty sure I have found the culprit, or culprits, at this point. Any dog who needs a lawyer is probably guilty of something. The problem is, I don’t have any proof and I can’t get any of them to tell me what happened. This is a tight-knit pack and I’ll have to be smarter than they are if I want to crack this case.

Right now, I’m thinking about consulting the pendulum…

Who do you think is the Webkinz thief?

Thanks to Melissa B for her photos! ~ de

Canine Conundrum Part 2

In which Violet Greer talks to animals.

This is Crystal. When I told her I wanted to talk to her, she ran away and hid under her blanket. I’m not sure I need an actual confession. She’s obviously the perp.

“I didn’t do it!”

I asked what it was that she didn’t do. I thought I could trick her into admitting to something.

“Whatever you think I did, I didn’t do it. I don’t know anything about it, and I don’t want to talk about it.”

I casually mentioned the Webkinz.

“Webkinz? Nope. Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I told her about the missing stuffed animals.

“Ohhh, that. Yeah, I didn’t do it.”

But she obviously knows who did! I tried to question her further, but she burrowed under the blanket and refused to look at me. A sure sign she was hiding something.

“I don’t know anything about those nasty little toys. They don’t belong to me and I don’t like them anyway.”

I felt that I was on to something. Clyde doesn’t like me to interfere when she’s investigating, but I have very good instincts. And this is my investigation. It’s my very own cozy mystery.

“Are you still here?” She peeked out from under her hiding place. “You’re wasting your time with me.”

After that I got nothing more out of her. Sometimes dogs just start thinking about food and then I can’t compete. I still have another suspect to interrogate before I get to the bottom of this, but I’m pretty sure I already know who did it.

Thanks to Melissa B for sharing her photos! ~de

Canine Conundrum Part 1

In which Violet Greer talks to animals.

This could be the face of evil. Or at least a guilty conscience. I was called to consult with this family after multiple Webkinz stuffed animals went missing. They were later found, soggy and a bit traumatized, in various locations throughout the house. Because there are multiple dogs in the household, the family didn’t know who was the Webkinz killer.

My first suspect was Willow. According to the family she is very obedient, likes to cuddle, and usually gets whatever she wants. I became suspicious when she turned her big-eyed innocent look on me. The tongue was over-kill.

“Webkinz? What’s a Webkinz?”

I told her someone has an issue with those stuffed animals.

“Stuffed animals? You mean those off-limits toys? No one has an issue.”

I told her that the whole gang would be in trouble if we didn’t get to the bottom of this.

“Oh, no. I don’t think so. I don’t get in trouble. And I’m not a snitch.”

Hmm. She seems pretty sure of herself. I was a little surprised that she didn’t tattle since dogs usually do. They don’t tend toward deception. So, if Willow is not the culprit, then she’s protecting one of her cohorts. It might be difficult to crack this case if the gang sticks together. I’ll have to find the weak link and apply some subtle pressure.

Next week we’ll meet suspect number two.

Thanks to Melissa B for her photo! ~de

Happy Halloween!

In which Violet Greer talks to animals.

Our pets can tell when there is a celebration afoot. Often they are only too happy to join in – even if it means wearing a costume.

Sometimes they feel left out if they can’t join the fun.

And some would prefer not to get involved.

Some show their true personality.

And some just enjoy the festivities.

Thanks to Melissa B., Stephanie V., Ann and Bob E., and Barb L. for their photos! ~de

Autumn Colors

In which Violet Greer talks to animals.

This is Gizmo. He can be seen all over town walking with his elderly owner, Lloyd. They seem very happy together and I wasn’t consulted by Lloyd, but by Gizmo.

“I have a scarf! See it? I love it, I love it.”

Yes, your scarf is very nice I said and tried to walk past them.

“It looks like the fall, doesn’t it?”

I stopped and turned toward Gizmo. “Excuse me?”

“I didn’t say anything, Violet.” Lloyd said.

“No, of course not. I was talking to Gizmo,” I said.

“Now don’t start that again,” Lloyd said. “Gizmo doesn’t need you mucking around in his head.” Lloyd started to walk away but Gizmo refused to follow.

“I don’t muck around,” I said. And crossed my arms. And narrowed my eyes.  “I listen to what they’re saying and then tell the families what the pet needs.”

“Uh huh. What’s Gizmo saying, then?”

“Um, he wants me to look at his scarf,” I said.

“How can you not look at the scarf, it’s bigger than he is. I don’t know why he wants to wear it all the time.”

“You didn’t put it on him?”

“Of course I did!” Lloyd gestured at Gizmo. “Does he look like he can tie a knot? But he runs to the closet where I keep it and won’t go out without it.”

“Hmmm.”

“Hey, hey, talk to me! I want to tell you something,” Gizmo said.

I turned to Gizmo.

“I have a scarf! It’s awesome!” Gizmo hopped on his front legs.

Lloyd looked at me. “What does he want?”

“I don’t want to muck around in his head, but you might want to get him some more scarves.”

“Bah!” Lloyd stomped off, but Gizmo sat and planted his paws firmly on the sidewalk.

“Tell him! Tell him! More scarves!”

“I really think he wants more scarves, Lloyd.”

Lloyd looked down at Gizmo. Gizmo lolled his tongue and wiggled his stumpy tail.

Lloyd glanced at the sky the way Clyde always does. “Okay, lets go look in the closet for more scarves.”

I watched them walk away, Lloyd shaking his head, Gizmo hopping and looking up at his person with adoration.

Sibling Rivalry

In which Violet Greer talks to animals.

I was asked to meet with Francesca again. You may remember her from this post. You can see from the photo that she was in a serious mood that day.

“I ‘ave asked you to return to my abode in the ‘opes you can ‘elp me. I do not believe in zees ‘pet psychic’ thing you claim. ‘owever, I am despereet.”

I asked her how I could help. (I had been warned that Francesca’s life has changed a bit since the family obtained more dogs – three to be exact.)

“I theenk you are aware of ze way things are around ‘ere. I am zee princess and I ‘ave my family very well organized. Zey buy me clothing and take me everywhere wiz zem. I even assist le daddy at ‘is work – ‘e relies on me so much.”

I urged her to get to the point as I could hear the pack of newcomers barking outside.

“Well, I ‘ave shared my lovely ‘ome wiz ozzer animals, wizzout difficulty.  As you can see ze ‘orse knows who is in charge.”

But ze new ‘brozzers’ as my family likes to call zem, are ruffians of the worst sort. Just look at zem! Zey are despicable.”

“Zey like to dig in la mama’s garden, and make such a ‘orrible noise whenever zey see a bird or a squirrel. But worst of all, zey say I am a spoiled princess and will not listen to my commands. Look at what zey did!”

I mentioned that the new dogs were just puppies, and she certainly would be able to take charge of them once they calm down. And that their antics only serve to show how well behaved she is.

“Per ‘aps you are correct, pet psychic. In fact, I am feeling a bit better. I will put on my new lovely sweater and go outside to begin my training wiz zem. Zey need a lot of work.”

I encouraged her to assert her alpha status as the older, more experienced canine.

“Oui, oui. Zat is true, but mostly I am ze leader because I am still ze favoureet of le daddy. S’il vous plait,  don’t tell my girls – I don’t want zem to become jealous of me.”

Thanks  to Patricia, Steve, Alexandra, Mackenzie, and Delaney for sharing their photos! ~de

Escape Artist

In which Violet Greer talks to animals.

This is Misty. She may look sweet, but she’s tough. She likes nothing more than to break out of her house and run around the neighborhood, preferably with her frantic family chasing after her. She’s very fast and almost impossible to catch. According to her family she takes advantage of any opportunity to shoot out the front door and down the street.

“Yeah, I know why you’re here. They don’t want me to have any fun, and somehow that’s my problem?”

I explained that it’s more of a safety issue.

“Give me a break. What could be unsafe about running free?”

I mentioned cars.

“They’ll never catch me – I’m super fast. Plus, let’s discuss the safety of the neighborhood if there are squirrels roaming loose in gangs. I’m protecting the humans from the worst threat there is!”

I started to tell her that squirrels weren’t that dangerous, but she interrupted.

“And another thing! Have you seen those brown trucks making ‘deliveries?’ I can hear those high-pitched sqeaky brakes five blocks away. Maybe I’m the only one who can see through that ruse but I don’t want them anywhere near my den, or my people. I think the trucks are in cahoots with the mailman – he’s pure evil allowed to walk among the innocent.”

I pointed out that the packages are ordered by the humans and they want them to arrive. And that the mailman is not evil.

She sniffed and turned away. I thought I heard her muttering about busy bodies and interfering old biddies but I could be wrong.

I may have to intervene with the family and work with them to keep Misty from escaping. I don’t think I’ll be able to convince her to stop “protecting” the neighborhood.

Thank you to Barbara and Junior for their picture! ~de