Feline Hygienist


In which Violet Greer talks to animals.

Violet Greer again. This is Sam. Sam has a problem. He’s a germophobe. It’s quite a serious case. Many cats suffer a little bit from an over-zealous fastidiousness, but Sam doesn’t like to groom himself. He finds it “disgusting.”

“Have you seen the way they lick their paws, and legs, and…other areas? It’s horrible! Then they hack up a hair ball and just leave it there for anyone to step in! No way am I doing that. Can you imagine the germs involved? I’ll be lucky if I don’t die of some awful disease.”

Sam’s family keeps finding him in the dryer. It’s as if he has a sixth sense about when the door is open and there he is, ready to go. “The kids. Follow the kids. They rummage for socks and then it’s go time!”

“Well, I have to get clean somehow and there’s no way I’m going to lick all that fur myself. The other machine seems to make the clothes wet and drippy. This machine makes them warm, fluffy, and they smell clean. Why can’t I use it, too?”

I explained about the extreme heat and likelihood of injury. I don’t know if it worked – he was hiding under the bed when I left…

Thanks to my daughter, Ellie, for reading Sam’s mind. -de

Thanks to Kate and Steve for sharing their photo! ~de


2 comments on “Feline Hygienist

  1. duaimei says:

    Be careful! I knew someone that accidentally killed their daughter’s cat when it snuck into a dryer and she didn’t realise…

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