Escape Artist

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In which Violet Greer talks to animals.

This is Misty. She may look sweet, but she’s tough. She likes nothing more than to break out of her house and run around the neighborhood, preferably with her frantic family chasing after her. She’s very fast and almost impossible to catch. According to her family she takes advantage of any opportunity to shoot out the front door and down the street.

“Yeah, I know why you’re here. They don’t want me to have any fun, and somehow that’s my problem?”

I explained that it’s more of a safety issue.

“Give me a break. What could be unsafe about running free?”

I mentioned cars.

“They’ll never catch me – I’m super fast. Plus, let’s discuss the safety of the neighborhood if there are squirrels roaming loose in gangs. I’m protecting the humans from the worst threat there is!”

I started to tell her that squirrels weren’t that dangerous, but she interrupted.

“And another thing! Have you seen those brown trucks making ‘deliveries?’ I can hear those high-pitched sqeaky brakes five blocks away. Maybe I’m the only one who can see through that ruse but I don’t want them anywhere near my den, or my people. I think the trucks are in cahoots with the mailman – he’s pure evil allowed to walk among the innocent.”

I pointed out that the packages are ordered by the humans and they want them to arrive. And that the mailman is not evil.

She sniffed and turned away. I thought I heard her muttering about busy bodies and interfering old biddies but I could be wrong.

I may have to intervene with the family and work with them to keep Misty from escaping. I don’t think I’ll be able to convince her to stop “protecting” the neighborhood.

Thank you to Barbara and Junior for their picture! ~de

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